Me & Keane

Keane are an incredibly important band for me. In fact they're probably the most important band ever to touch my life.

For a long time, they were the only band I listened to. They were the only music I listened to, or at least, they dominated my playlist. I'm 18, and I bought their first album in 2004, after seeing it on the shelves a few times. The cover fascinated me, something about the simplicity. And bear in mind, I was about eight or nine years old. That's an unconventional age to start liking a band like Keane. But then, I'd been listening to Will Young before then, so I was used to that kind of music.

Before I bought the album, I got my brother to download Bedshaped. It was beautiful. It is one of my favourite songs of all time and on this blog post I named it as my fifth favourite song of all time. Looking back - it's probably higher. After Bedshaped, the album was mine. All sorts of fascinating things - such as the everlasting question of "why is this song called Untitled 1?". For years I wasn't sure if it was Untitled 1 or Untitled I.

Hopes and Fears is a beautiful album, if not the best album ever in music - and certainly the best debut album. For a long time, I haven't listened to Keane. After Strangeland, I sort of abandoned their music and went off and developed it in other ways. Keane had become "too happy" and I was looking for deeper and more depressing songs. So I found Hurts, Ellie Goulding, Tom Odell, Muse, Bastille, Villagers and more, all of whom I love (Hurts especially).

But then last week I went to Keane: Live From Berlin at the cinema. And it was amazing. More than that, I took my mum to see it, and she loved it. She's completely fallen in love with Keane's music, and that's helped me fall in love with them again too. It's not just that their music is beautiful, but it is, as I said, such an important part of my life.

There's an album for each of the stages of my life. There's Hopes and Fears for when I was young, and I've come back to it now and actually understood the lyrics. We might as well be strangers has gone from one of the more boring songs on the album to one of the most perfect, because I understand it. Songs like Bedshaped and Sunshine, although still completely unconnected to my life in terms of lyrics, are such incredible songs that it doesn't matter. Now it feels like, when I find a new band or singer, I have to connect to the words. But with Keane, that was, and is, never an issue.

Under the Iron Sea isn't the greatest collection of songs, but Atlantic is perfect. It's the perfect definition of a "deep" or arguably depressing song, and that's the kind of music I like. That all stems because of the depth in Keane's lyrics. Bad Dream and The Frog Prince are awesome - and Iron Sea has become a lot more interesting as a piece of music, especially since it was used on the trailer for the Keane: Live From Berlin broadcast.

Perfect Symmetry is incredible. At the time it was quite a shock to me that Keane songs could be so dark - but they're amazing. (I've used that word a lot, sorry.) Black Burning Heart, Perfect Symmetry, Better Than This are such powerful songs, delving into realms that Keane hadn't before.

Strangeland means a lot to me. It was released while I was in Year 11 and is probably the first Keane album I listened to on release that felt like it truly connected to my life. You Are Young was such an important song for me at the time of the release of the album (have a listen and see if you can guess why). Sovereign Light Cafe was a song I'd listened to before the release for ages, along with Disconnected, and to have them on the album (redone, I might add) was perfect. Disconnected is an awesome song - not because it's personal but just simply because it's awesome. Oh and the video is really cool. Watch How You Go and On The Road were used by me when I was given the task of creating my school Year 11 Leavers Video. I can't listen to them now - because they hold such an important memory for me. I've lent the album to Mum - she's gonna be in tears when she reaches those. Black Rain is excellent and since seeing it live last week, Sea Fog has become a whole lot more awesome.

The point is - Keane are amazing. They've touched so many people - and it's amazing that in school and mainly in Year 11, around the release of Strangeland and whenever anyone asked me my favourite band, no one had heard of them. "They're the ones that did Somewhere Only We Know" I would say - and then they'd remember. That song made them - but there's so much more to them.

I'm so glad I went to see their concert. I've got a whole new appreciation for their songs, I've introduced Mum to their songs, and I've come back to the band that's been with me my whole life.

So really, I want to recommend their music. All of it. Want dark stuff? Their first three albums. Want happy stuff? Their more recent music might be best. Want amazing songs? All of it.

Thank you, Keane.

A Remembrance Sunday Poem

I don't normally post real-world things on this blog, but when considering if I could do anything for Remembrance Day, I remembered a poem I wrote just over a year ago. I've posted it on here or my old Tumblr once before, but here it is again. (I have written other war poems, but this is the best one.)

FAMILY ALBUM
by JR Mortimer

Is this really necessary?
Am I really here?
Is the sky the black I expected?
Where are all those I hold dear?

Is this really right?
Can we make all the people cry?
Is the war the game I expected?
Is 'everything's ok' a lie?

Is this really important?
Can we do this to ourselves?
Do I get the pride that I expected?
Into the sand he delves.

Is this really ok?
Can I write this down with truth?
Maybe it's not meant to be
Maybe I want proof

Is this really it?
There must be more to come
I don't take things for granted
I just look what I've become

This mirror is just twisted
In my head it's just a mess
But my heart tells me who I am
I want to be no less

The helicopter's got to be landing
There has to be some escape
Clean the sand from your fingers
Don't show all this on tape

This isn't for the family album
It's not something to hold quite close
At least I'm getting home now.
And this is my last post.

Canon & Controversy

It's occured to me that on this blog I've never dealt with controversial issues directly. I've often brought them up and I've often expressed my own 'controversial' opinions in reviews and posts - but I've never gone through issues as a list. Probably because no one cares. But if anyone actually reads these posts - this might be some useful background. I'll be covering issues like What do you count as canon? and Who's your favourite/least favourite Doctor and Companion? as well as some others too. Enjoy.

Who's your favourite Doctor? Companion?
We'll start with the less geeky question. My favourite Doctor is Sylvester McCoy, 'cos he's wonderful. Once upon a time it was Peter Davison, but after watching more of some other Doctors, he's fallen to about half way on the list, maybe lower. William Hartnell used to be quite low down - but now he's near the top - he's got to be. It's quite hard to rank the modern Doctors amongst these, so there'll be a separate question for them. Jon Pertwee is probably my second favourite Doctor. Tom Baker isn't near the top at all.

My favourite companion is probably Ace - and that's mostly down to the uniqueness of the character, and her partnership with the Seventh Doctor. It works really well - and she's a really good companion. 'Honourable mentions' go to Jamie, Rose (in Series One), Liz Shaw, Jo Grant, Harry Sullivan and the Brigadier.

So does the Brigadier count as a companion?
I'd probably say that you have to travel in the TARDIS to be a companion - which would deny people like Liz the opportunity. But wait. Technically Liz travels into the future via the TARDIS in The Ambassadors of Death, and the Brigadier travels in it in The Three Doctors - so he's a companion - full stop. Sara Kingdom I'm not so sure about though.


When do the UNIT Stories take place?
It was a surprise to me to learn that they were meant to happen in a kind of 'day after tomorrow' thing - or late 70s/80s. I'd always assumed they were contemporary stories - but this is Doctor Who so of course all these things can exist and happen. I can see the argument for them happening later - because all these projects and drilling and things are more likely - but did they happen? No. So is that argument a bit pointless? Yes. I see no objection to them happening when they were broadcast. Except maybe a couple. Stupid Mawdryn Undead.


What's canon in the Doctor "Whoniverse"?
I hate the word Whoniverse. But - everything. Everything, licensed, is canon. There's accepted canon, Doctors Hartnell to Capaldi (and maybe Hurt?), which is accepted by everyone except my mum who doesn't think McGann counts. Then there's the other canon - so every single book Doctor, book adventure and audio. On license. Fan productions and amateur video productions don't count. Figure Adventures will never count in a million years (even "accepted by the BBC" ones) - and many of them aren't as good as people think anyway. (Rant over.) And let's not talk about fan fiction. Oh and Cushing is a human called Dr Who. But his films are amazing so that's ok. The Shalka Doctor is amazing (review soon, by the way) and he definitely counts, somewhere.

I realise many books/audios have conflicting views - but they're all possible in multiple times. Honest.

Who's your least favourite Doctor? Companion?
Notice 'least favourite' not 'worse'. I used to have a few least favourites but I probably like all of them enough. So while I can't put any at the bottom of my list - I can say which ones aren't my favourites. They would be Tom Baker, David Tennant, and um.. Occasionally William Hartnell. I like all three of them - they're just not my favourites. For example - a lot of Hartnell's are wonderful, some aren't. David Tennant's first and third series are better than the 'one with Martha'. Tom Baker's first season is incredible. His second season is incredible. Others - not so much. Peter Davison isn't brilliant all the time either.

My least favourite companion was probably Tegan once upon a time - but I quite like her now. So it may have to be Dodo I'm afraid. I know my friend really dislikes Ben and Polly, I'm not quite there on that one though. And as good an actress is Freema Ageyman is - I'm afraid Martha's gotta be quite low down on my list. She'd be a really good companion without the unrequited love storyline. Sorry.

Should the Doctor fall in love?
Yes and no. At the time (and even now) I hated the Doctor and Rose falling in love. Unrequited love from Martha is not the type of storyline Doctor Who, even modern Doctor Who, needs. That's why Series Four was such a hit for so many - because him and Donna were friends. Yet saying all that - the Doctor and River Song are something I'm ok with. In a strange way, it sort of works. The 8th Doctor and Grace I'm also fine with. The reason I give for that is that the Doctor just gets on and kisses the girl. There aren't thirteen episodes of will they/won't they/moaning about love. That's an exaggeration, but all the same. 

Is his name Doctor Who?
Let's not get started on that one - I honestly don't know. I really don't think it is. I guess I've always assumed it's a nickname given to him - I mean that can't be his actual name. And I see the argument for it being his name - but production notes and stories DO NOT count as evidence in terms of the fiction of the show.

Other Notes
Is Colin Baker's costume really bad? No, it isn't.
Are the Daleks a good monster? No, they're not.
Does the Doctor have 13 lives? At the minute - yes. But that can change. He doesn't have 507 anyway.
Could the Doctor be a woman? Probably - but only when regeneration starts getting risky after his 13th life.

Atlantis | Episode One Review

I think, and I may be wrong, when I was younger I had a fold down chart with a drawing of a huge city or complex beneath the sea. I can't remember whether this was Atlantis - but I've certainly always connected the two in my head. I think the chart was based on some film or something. But whenever I think 'Atlantis', I generally think of that, and the underwater part. I suppose everyone does.

So to set Atlantis on a dry land, in what's basically a Horrible Histories without the songs and with more fighting, it changes what you expect. It should make it more exciting. After all, that's what they did with Merlin, they changed what you would expect. Except with Merlin it worked. Atlantis is just a bit too dull.

The first episode is kind of in two parts. In fact, doing 25 minute episodes for CBBC might have been a lot better for it, as it brings to mind the old Roman Mysteries series. The first half, of about 20/25 minutes, is a bit boring. The opening scenes uses every possible cliche in the book, and the creators have chosen the most obvious and boring plot device ever. The underwater scenes are quite exciting - but then Jason turns up on the beach, conveniently finding clothes he doesn't question, and then getting chased. The chase scene feels like it's trying to be Skyfall, but in Ancient Greece (the music is very similar to the chase at the opening of the film). Then he meets Pythagoras, who's not bad, and Hercules, who's also not bad. Jason seems a bit  unexciting at the minute. But it all happens very quickly. Jason sees the Oracle, but even the conversation of "why did you lie to him" after that feels like more cliches.

It's just too predictable.

Fortunately, the second half is a lot better. If it wasn't my 18th Birthday next week, then I would have loved the second half. Labyrinths, fighting a Minotaur (albeit briefly), being an adventurer from Ancient Greece, it's all great for a younger audience. But the series is, so far, seriously lacking emotional appeal, or even emotional characters. Any attempts at emotion are cliche - and I hope that changes as the series goes on. Because otherwise, 8.25 is really the wrong time slot. For a younger audience, it needs to be on earlier. It doesn't feel dark, emotional, or different enough yet. The characters are more serious (in my eyes, I relief after however many years of Merlin and Arthur), but that doesn't mean there's depth.

So although it's a jolly good adventure, it does feel a bit childish (for the time slot), a bit cliche and a bit slow. I can see the main characters progressing well, and Sarah Parish desperately needs to be in on it more 'cos frankly she was amazing. There is potential, and if the mystery (which is half-explained very quickly in the episode) becomes more complex, then it could be really good. This series can really go places.

It's just a bit too slow at the minute.

The episode lacked 'depth' in two ways. One, obviously the characters, and two, the lack of water! Setting a series in Atlantis while it's underwater would have been stunning. But - it didn't do that, and so it wasn't stunning. The team behind Merlin, who have said they're making a Merlin replacement, didn't even try to make it that different to Merlin. There's not enough difference or excitement.

I am looking forward to seeing where the series goes, and I believe that it could turn into something really good. But everything needs to up its game a bit more - as it feels like its falling short of what it should be.

By the way - I do want a soundtrack. The music was awesome.

What Sherlock Shouldn't Do

This might be a relatively short post.

After the release of the BBC Original Drama Autumn Trailer, lots of fangirls and probably some fanboys too got very excited at seeing Sherlock & John back in action. In fact, the top voted comment at the time of writing this has the words "JOHNLOCK" and "gay" in it. I'm not a fan of the 'shipping' of two characters who clearly aren't gay, because people start watching it for Tumblr Gifs, and not for the actual drama.

When the first Sherlock trailer came out, there were similar comments. Sherlock's face when he sees John, which to me looked slightly constipated, was caught on by all of the fans in an "omg his face, this will be so sad" kind of way. I mean, Sherlock's face didn't attractive quite as much attention as John's moustache - but hey ho.

My point is, the arrival of the new trailer brings about/shows two things. The first is mentioned above - the shipping - which is one thing Sherlock shouldn't do. That will never happen though, so that's not a worry of mine, just an annoyance.

The other thing the trailer showed was that the plot looks to be as predictable as I thought - and that's what Sherlock shouldn't do. The trailer features him and Martin Freeman's wife/John Watson's (we presume) Mary riding a motorbike. Despite this being done, in the same location, in Doctor Who failure The Bells of Saint John. But aside from this - it highlights what's present in the filming pictures.

Now I may be wrong and I'm sure the story will be more complicated than this because it's Sherlock.

But I'm pretty sure the base of the story will be "Sherlock comes back/John hates him/John hits him/John's girlfriend forgives Sherlock/John and girlfriend argue/Sherlock and Mary save the world/John forgives him". Along there there'll also be the "us two against the world" line that was in the trailer - something else that excited the Tumblr fans.

That will be the basic plot. The underlying tension. Hopefully it won't take the whole episode for Martin Freeman to stop breathing heavily in anger, but it might do. Hopefully - that plot won't happen at all.

Because it shouldn't. I could make up that plot in my sleep - in fact, people younger than me who watch enough TV could make that plot up in their sleep. So yes, the plot around it about "The Empty Hearse" will be very good I'm sure - but it stands a chance of being ruined by John's annoyance. The arguing/falling out/getting back together/saving the world has been done SO MANY TIMES and I really hope I'm wrong. I hope the clips from trailers and filming are misleading, and that the most predictable TV character plot in history hasn't been chosen to bring Sherlock back.

It's definitely something Sherlock shouldn't do.

The Best Song Ever (Ish)

Shock! A blog post not about Doctor Who! (And with a slightly misleading title - sorry 1D fans, this isn't for you..)

With the recent announcement of the Mercury Prize Nominations (an award I still only have roughly 1% of a clue about), there seems to be a lot of talk about the best albums and artists. I'm quite proud that I own an album from the shortlist - it makes me feel almost up to date with music. Most surprising is that that album I own is Villagers "Awayland" - which has to be the least cool album ever written. The songs have amazingly complicated and crafted lyrics - but none of them are conventional hits, and a lot of them aren't even conventional modern music. All the same - Villagers reached the shortlist. Well done them. Or him. It's quite hard to keep track.

So if I was to put together my own shortlist of albums - it would probably be quite short and quite bias, because I haven't listened to that many really. So instead, I'm going to pick twelve songs from the last decade that would receive a prize from me. Amongst those twelve songs there will be seven artists - five with two "best" songs in, and then two 'wildcard' choices from different artists. Then, at the end, if I can, I will pick a song that should essentially be my favourite of all time.

A. KEANE: BEDSHAPED
The first of two Keane songs, I knew Bedshaped before I knew the band who sung it. Aside from Will Young, Keane were probably my first "serious" singers, and Bedshaped is therefore one of my first ever songs. It is beautiful, the video is awesome - and if you haven't heard it, you haven't lived.

B. KEANE: SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW
Perhaps a predictable Keane choice - it's the one everyone's heard of - but it is amazing. The best ever feel good song, yet with depth to the lyrics. It truly is a great song, and even if you think you don't know it, you will have heard it. There won't be any later Keane songs - and why? Because they're not the best, simple. Perfect Symmetry, Atlantic, Bad Dream - they're all great, but they're not quite to the standard of these two.


C. HURTS: SUNDAY
I'm a bit mad about Hurts at the minute. When Mum first discovered them for me (cheers, Mum), I wasn't impressed. When I first listened to their first album I wasn't impressed. But then something clicked. Probably the music videos, especially for songs like Blind, Wonderful Life and of course, Sunday. The video for Somebody to Die For is what made me get back into their music - and I'm so glad I did. Although Sunday has the most predictable lyrics ever - the music and feel of the song is amazing.


D. HURTS: WONDERFUL LIFE
There are so many good Hurts songs. Blind, Exile, Silver Lining, Better than Love, Evelyn, The Road, most of them in fact. But Wonderful Life is another feel good song with depth - and it has the feel of an 80s song, while staying modern. Plus - one of the lyrics includes the word 'Severn', and as someone who goes to Wales a lot, that appeals.


E. FLORENCE + THE MACHINE: HOWL
I wasn't sure who to pick next, but because there are so many options for wildcard at the minute - two Florence + the Machine songs seemed like a good choice. Howl is breathtaking - and literally, if you tried singing it I imagine. It's powerful, and just a great piece of music. Some of the lyrics are really strong - and obscure - and so it's a perfect song.


F. FLORENCE + THE MACHINE: BLINDING
Although Rabbit Heart, Cosmic Love, My Boy Builds Coffins (I love that song) and No Light, No Light were contenders - Blinding is another song with weird and awesome lyrics. Therefore - it earns a place here. It's hauntingly good.

G. BASTILLE - POMPEII
Probably the only conventional choice on here - I love this song. It's addictive and it's just awesome all round.

H. BASTILLE - NO ANGELS
Normally I hate people who release covers - but Bastille's "mixtapes" are not only free, they're also ingenious. No Angels combines The XX and TLC (both were unknown to me at first) with some other singer who's not bad, in a great song. And there's Psycho dialogue. Psycho! It was really hard picking a cover of Bastille's I liked best - and their recent cover of We Can't Stop (yes - that one) is amazing.

I. TOM ODELL - ANOTHER LOVE
This. Is. Perfect.


J. TOM ODELL - GROW OLD WITH ME
Tom Odell is great, and although some of his other songs sound fairly similar to each other, Grow Old With Me and Another Love are distinct and are just awesome. I can't say there were many other contenders from songs he's done... yet.


K. MUSE - ANIMALS
Picking a David Bowie song was quite hard. There's a few I like, but not love. So I went for Muse, because there's more of them I love. Sorry, David. Animals is a strange choice, because I didn't like it at first. But it's one of the most memorable for me, and it's a very powerful song.

L. MUSE - UNDISCLOSED DESIRES
This was so hard. There are so many amazing Muse songs that I love - but it's a question of favourites. A favourite song of all time, for me, so far. And this one, although one of their most boy band like, is one of their best. Uprising, Supremacy, Animals, Take a Bow, Madness - they're all great. It's so hard.

THE TOP FIVE

#5 BEDSHAPED - Keane
I was originally going to give this to Bastille, but Bedshaped is the oldest song I know, as I said before - so it needs a place in my top five.

#4 WONDERFUL LIFE - Hurts
A beautiful song, well deserving of a place in the top five.

#3 SUNDAY - Hurts
Both Hurts songs made it - Sunday's amazing beat earns it a place in third.

#2 SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW - Keane
This would probably have earned the top spot over most of my life... But something is just a little bit better.

#1 ANOTHER LOVE - Tom Odell
You probably guessed from my description - but the decision to give this top spot has been made a whole day after I wrote that, so there you go.

I hope you enjoyed my brief Music blog! I should point out another few good songs if anyone's interested. London Grammar's "Wasting my Young Years", Villagers' "Nothing Arrived", "Home" and "Earthly Pleasure", David Bowie's "The Next Day", "Valentine's Day" and "The Stars" - and the entire Hurts collection.

Are You My Mummy? The Deadly Assassin

So after The TV Movie didn't go down too well, I moved onto what is generally considered a classic. This is me and Mum - watching The Deadly Assassin.

Some stats before we begin. This came 20th in the Mighty 200 Doctor Who Magazine poll, and was generally liked at the time of release. Unless you're the president of the Doctor Who Appreciation Society, or Mary Whitehouse. Being the first 'non-companion' story, and giving mum plenty of opportunities for questions (not to mention her first experience of Holmes/Hinchliffe horror), it seems like a good choice. She's very much used to Season 12 or 18 stories - and this is something very different.

And I gave it a 5/10 overall from the first time I saw it. This is probably the second time I've watched it all the way through, so should be good.

PART ONE

She dances to the theme tune.

Mum: That's an interesting TARDIS. Is he in the TARDIS there?

Me: It's the secondary console room.

Mum: Did he choose to fly there?

Me: [I explain the ending of the Hand of Fear]

Mum: Ahh I was gonna ask where the companion was.

They talk on watches.

Mum: That's quite good CGI that. Year? 1980..

Me: 1976.

Mum: Ooh. I clearly wasn't watching it by this stage.

Mum: Why's he in the secondary console room?

Me: Cos he fancied a change.

The Doctor leaves a pile of clothes.

Mum: He's clearly not there.

She's quite enjoying this I think. The guard is killed.

Mum: I hope they don't think he's done it now.

They talk about the exile to Sol 3.

Mum: Sol 3!

Me: Yep. They're talking about The War Games.

Mum: When the Master comes back in the modern one they have it going Sol 3 is..

Me: Yeah.

Mum: Nice classic reference.

Mum: What's the difference between President and Castellan?

Damn, a good question.

Me: I think the Castellan's head of the guards.

Mum: Cos The Five Doctors had one. Are they different in that?

Me: Yeah, there's Borusa then the Black Scrolls guy.

Hooded Man: Predictable as ever, Doctor.

Mum: Ok so is that the Master?

I'd like to remind you that this isn't the Wife in Space..

The Time Lords walk around.

Mum: Ooh Time Lords. Yay. A proper Doctor Who.

Me: The last one [The TV Movie] was proper too.

Mum: (quietly) Mhm.

Runcible: I hope to speak to Cardinal Borusa.

Mum: Borusa.

I nod. She's very good at this.

Me: How many Gallifrey stories do you think there have been by this point?

Mum: I wouldn't say very many.

Me: This is the first ever all Gallifrey one.

Mum: So how much have they seen of Gallifrey?

Me: Only a bit of The War Games and The Three Doctors.

Mum: So when did Gallifrey first appear?

I explain.

The Doctor finds some costumes.

Mum: Oh go on, dress up as a Time Lord!

Other Cloaked Figure: Master.

Mum: Master! Told you. He looks like the one in the um, Keeper of Traken.

Me: Yep.

Mum: Are you impressed by my knowledge?

Me: I am very.

Mum: So he was who before this?

Me: Roger Delgado.

They search for the Doctor.

Mum: Not very bright are they, the Time Lords?

More of the Master's plan is discussed.

Mum: Why does the Master want to kill the President and make it look like the Doctor?

Me: That's a good question.

Mum: So he can take over the Doctor's body? No - because he'd get excuted. Confused.

She did pick up something from the TV Movie then.

Mum: So the Master's going to kill the President.. But make it seem like the Doctor...

Runcible (to the Doctor): Weren't you expelled or something?

That gets a laugh. As does "Have you had a facelift?"

The Doctor runs to the gun.

Mum: Well that's discreet.

The Doctor pulls the trigger.

Mum: Uh oh. Why?! Sorry - confused.

Me: Me too.

Mum: But you've seen it.

Me: A long time ago... That's weird.

Mum: He goes up their to stop it then you see him doing it like he dreamt he was going to do. Was this
shown once a week?

Me: Yeah.

Mum: So they'd have to wait a whole week to find out what happened?

Me: They would - it's a good cliffhanger.

Mum: It's very watchable. Good, proper, classic Doctor Who.

Me: Score?

Mum: 8/10.

PART TWO

Mum: Robert Holmes is the best Doctor Who writer ever - that's what you used to tell me.

Me: He's one of them yes.

Mum: Perhaps he's [the President] an imposter.

She watches the reprise closely.

Mum: The Doctor's noticed something. That wasn't him! He didn't fire the gun, because just before Doctor
Who fired there was another plasticy gun.

Aww she called him Doctor Who.

Mum: It wasn't him, there was another gun which was the Master killing him. See he's got the gun but...



Goth: The assassin must be tried and executed before the election.

Mum: That's hardly very fair.



Mum temporarily becomes the President of the DWAS.

Mum: Ok so the Time Lords are all about peace and justice. Why are they torturing him? And executing him
in 48 hours. Isn't peace and justice. They're a bad lots the Time Lords under that veneer aren't they.

Mum: So he's being fair then - this Castellan. So the man in the orange [Goth] is the baddie.

Me: I should explain about evil Time Lords - it's stories like this that made them turn all bad in The End of Time.

Mum: But they're not all bad? Just bad ones within it.

Me: Yeah.

Goth appears again - and Mum begins to work out the plot.

Mum: They said that a Chancellor needs to access the key thing - and he [Goth] is a Chancellor so he must have done it. Because he wasn't going to be President and he wants it so he framed the Doctor with the
Master. Cos he promised him a body. That's the story sorted.

Actually - I think she's right.

The "trial" begins.

Mum: This is the trial?

Me: Yep.

Goth: Could he have said "Let him go, I'll kill him".

Mum: No he's putting words into his mouth. He said "they'll".

Article 17 is announced.

Mum: For someone who's a regengade Time Lord he don't half know the rules well.

Me: Well he was a Time Lord first.

Castellan: Convince me.

Mum: See he's nice.

Mum's struggling to watch the Master talk.

Mum: That's quite gory isn't it, considering it was going out early in the evening.

The Doctor works out one of the High Council must have stasered the President, proving Mum slightly right.

Goth: Apart from myself he's the only person up for election.

Mum: See - he's a renegade.

The chalk drawing of the dead Time Lord gets a laugh.

Mum thinks Runcible goes to his death but instead... The technician is found.

Mum: Ah that's the Master's trick in Logopolis.

Castellan: Who is the Master?

Mum: Hang on they don't know who he is?

Me: That's a good point actually.

Mum: They should really know who he is. This is a big fat hole in the classic Doctor Who story arc.

Me: Well it's not that big..

Mum: It is!

Wait til they have the 12 regenerations talk..

This story is making much more sense for me second time around. Mum's gone very quiet while she takes it in.

The Doctor arrives in a quarry.

Me: D'you understand where he is?

Mum: That's a really rubbish crocodile! Um - he was linking himself to the Memory Banks.

Me: Basically this is the Matrix. You know the expression before.

Mum: Yes - it's the Mind Bank. So he just happened to have the scarf - that's useful.

Me: Yeah that really shouldn't be there.

Mum: Ok that's weird... [The Samauri]

Me: Yeah this next Part is just weird. Very good though.

Mum: Why would there be explosions?

Me: Because the Matrix is attacking him - and it's being controlled, I think.

Mum: Right, so the Master's somehow connected to it. So it's their memories?

Mum laughs as the train heads towards the Doctor... That's not quite having the right effect.

Mum: Oh my God. I'd give that 3/10.

Whoops.

Mum: I understood him joining himself up but that has no logic..

Me: Yeah it does.

PART THREE

Mum: Robert Holmes is really the best writer ever? This is surreal.

Me: That's why it's good.  [This is the best bit of the episode, for me.]

Mum: Kiddies who are like 9 and 10 don't want surreal - they wouldn't have a clue what's going on. It's not
exactly behind the sofa stuff.

Doctor: It's an illusion. Dreams.

Mum: Now it makes a bit more sense.

She thought it was real?

Doctor: I deny this reality.

Mum: Yay.

The clown appears. We agree that it's scary.

Mum: So the Doctor's gone in there to find out who it is.

Me: I think so.

Mum: But if it's not real why is he running away?

Me: Because if he dies there it kills the real version of him. I think.

Mum: But why didn't the Train kill him?

Me: It wasn't a real train.

Mum: But they're not real bullets.

Me: But the train disappeared before it him - those didn't.

Master: You are trapped in my reality. My reality rules.

Me: Does that explain it?

Mum: Yes...

We learn there's another mind in the Matrix - which at least proves me right.

Mum: So technically he's not fighting the Master's brain - he's fighting whoever's under that. Which is the Chancellor probably.

She's very good at this. She's more scared of the spider when the Doctor hides though than anything else. But it's less scary when it moves...

Mum: Is the spider gonna get him?

Me: Yeah it causes him to regenerate.

Hesitation.

Mum: Who to regenerate?

Me: Sarcasm.



Woah.

Mum: It's quite clever how he's in some ordinary wood but they've stuck a soundtrack over it to make it
seem like somewhere tropical.

Mum: Is the whole episode set in this alternative reality?

Me: Mhmm.

The Doctor and Goth confront each other in the Matrix.

Mum: That's clearly the Chancellor chap.

He's revealed.

Mum: I was right.

Goth catches fire.

Mum: Now he can come back. Can he? Uh oh. Comes down to fisticuffs.

The episode ends.

Me: They had to cut that last shot on repeat.

Mum: It's quite violent, in today's standards.

Me: It was for then too. I'll explain it after this Part. Do we have a score?

Mum: 7/10. Much better than the first bit, that was just silly.

PART FOUR

Goth: No more regeneration possible.

Mum: Well that's not the same now!

Oh dear.

Engin: There is no plan that can postpone death.

Me: That was made up entirely for this story - then Doctor Who was stuck with it.

Mum: Until they rewrote it.

Me: They haven't! Why do you keep thinking they have?

Mum: Because Russell or Steven said that they'd just rewritten that and are gonna discreetly forget about it.

Me: But has it been in canon? Is it in an episode?

Mum: I'm sure it has.

Me: It hasn't been and until it's in there it isn't canon... though I'm sure they will change it.

SJA does not count, by the way.

Mum: So he's after this Sash? What would that do?

Me: You'll find out.

The Master stasers the Castellan.

Mum: Oh no they killed him! But oh he clearly hasn't killed the Doctor, maybe he's just stunned them.

Master: They're not dead. Stunned.

The dramatic bit with the Eye of Harmony passes with no comment. Which is good I think.

Lots of shots of the clock.

Mum: He's in the clock.

The end.

Mum: That was very good. Apart from the few big massive holes [well, "one"] like they'd never heard of the
Master... Like Borusa taught the Doctor but should've known who the Master is...

Overall she gives it an 8/10.

I explain the objection to the violence and the series of gothic stories by Holmes/Hinchliffe. Mum says she didn't feel the companion was missing - and prefers it without one.

My opinion of the episode has definitely improved but it's still a bit too political and slow in places for my liking - so I'm going with a 7/10. Or maybe a 6. I don't know, it's very Robert Holmes - but that kinda just means it feels the same as The Sun Makers, only less Blake's 7-y.

Next time we will be watching something which is yet to be watched! You can keep track of what we've seen so far here.